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June 20 - Minneapolis, Minnesota: A local disc jockey was arraigned this morning for numerous offenses stemming from an incident which occured overnight in St. Paul.

Weasel, disc jockey for The Popular "The Half Assed Morning Show" weekdays on 93X, apparently approached a male dressed in full mime costume outside a local strip club  last night around 11PM. Police recieved a call from Orly Knutson, disc jockey at WLTE (also in Minnesota) stating that Weasel had told him of his plans to go "scoopin' hotties" at the bar, and asked Knutson if he would like to attend. Fortunately Mr. Knutson declined to go. Good for him, as Weasel found out within minutes of his arrival at the club, when he walked immediately into police custody, crying & soiled.

Things complicated when police, upon searching Weasel's apartment, found makeup, a leotard, a Barry Manilow album spinning on his record player, and a  Marilyn Manson poster on his wall. After hearing a struggle coming from the bathroom, Police began to think Weasel was abducting these mimes for his own  - why, we still do not know - personal performance, however, this was proven false after they discovered his friend, Remy Maxwell, passed out on the bathroom floor after drinking way, way, too much eggnog. Mr. Maxwell was taken to Abbott Northwestern Hospital  for treatment.

The mime declined to release his name as he was afraid Denny's would fire him for listening to a bloated AOR station.

From: Elvis Shortliver 
To: weasel@93x.com 
Sent: Wednesday, June 20, 2001 11:12 PM
Subject: Are You NOT A Mime?
 

Dear Weasel,
Are you NOT a mime? Coz we would feel really sorry if we were wrong, and I'm starting to doubt the credibility of my sources. I thought he was kidding when he said he used to like to stare at light bulbs so he could get visions of the future. Wouldn't you think he would be kidding? After all those years, and not even a sign!
 
Well, it appears I've dumped Yeagermeister all over my lap again... What? Oh, it's not Yeagermeister....
 
- Elvis Shortliver -

NOTE: I received no reply.
 

Is Weasel A Mime?
Here's what those "In The Know" had to say:
"Yeah because I said so."
"Weasel is a butt packer."
"Whatever."
"YES! And I listen to hs show every day. 4 hours of blessed silence!"
"No, it was all remi's sh!t. Remi left it there when he passed out."
"The funny sports."
"I'd just like to say anything that might have rabies sure as heck passes for a god damn mime"
 
 

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