I Hate Mimes Club Article 107

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ARTICLE #107:
DOC SAVAGE AND THE SILENT STALKER

I have a growing lexicon on scary mime stories, at least, stories which would frighten a lesser man. However, Doc Savage knows his enemy and, as we all know, knowledge is power. Consequently, mimes hold no fear for me, and there pathetic attempts at intimidation are nothing more than an annoyance - so very typical of these greasepaint freaks.

That said, being stalked is rarely, if ever, a pleasant experience, unless of course it forms part some deviant love game (for details and diagrams see "Doc Savage and Delores Dewberry - Book of The Night : Volume 1" Mighty-Wang press 1999). In my case, the Toronto Mimes have taken it upon themselves to disrupt the serene flow of my normal lifestyle, or rather, to make a laughable attempt at disruption. Of late my answering service has been plagued by their antics, namely callers who listen to my message and then leave no vocal response many, many, many times. Initially, I did find this a little disconcerting largely because the "BEEP" is a particularly toxic tone. However, the silences are a rather welcome punctuation to the usual tirade of conservative, fundamentalist and otherwise pro-mime abuse. So, at the risk of undermining my very essence - I THANK MY SILENT STALKER.

Holy God, what am I saying! Readers, I trust that you understand - context is everything.

The last few days have seen something of an escalation in these antics. In fact, I suspect that I'm nearing the very peak of mime intimidation. In all honesty, the experience is decidedly UNDERWHELMING and is, at best, somewhat pathetic. That's right readers, Doc Savage is now receiving hate mail from mimes. What next I ask you? Am I to expect a kidnap attempt or some desperate physical attack? Well, at the risk of sounding confrontational - BRING IT ON! I can assure you, Doc Savage will never be contained behind invisible walls, annoyed by them - certainly, but imprisoned? I THINK NOT! As for assault - excuse me while I laugh heartily. The though of some pasty, chicken-necked little Marcel getting physical with the Doc makes me shudder with dread.

No really.
I'm quaking.
Honest.

HA!

Stay Proud - Be Loud,
Sincerely, Doc Savage.

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