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Minnesota: A local disc jockey was arraigned this morning for numerous offenses stemming from an incident which occured overnight in ____.

______ "The Belt" _______, disc jockey for the popular morning show ___ weekdays on W###, apparently approached a male dressed in full mime costume at ___strip club___  last night around 11PM. Police recieved a call from another radio station in the area stating that ___ had told him of his plans to go "scoopin' hotties" at the bar, and asked if the caller would like to attend. Fortunately ___ declined to go. Good for him, as ___ found out within minutes of his arrival at the club, when he walked immediately into police custody, crying & soiled.

Things complicated when police, upon searching ____'s apartment, found makeup, a leotard, a Barry Manilow album spinning on his record player, and a  Marilyn Manson poster on his wall. After hearing a struggle coming from the bathroom, Police began to think ___ was abducting these mimes for his own  - why, we still do not know - personal performance, however, this was proven false after they discovered his friend, ____ ___, passed out on the bathroom floor after drinking way, way, too much eggnog. Mr. ___ was taken to ___ __ Hospital for treatment.

The mime declined to release his name as he was afraid Denny's would fire him for listening to a bloated AOR station.

Is ___ a mime? You tell us!

POLL

Is Blank A Mime?
a: yes
b: no
c: sometimes
d: I am a mime
e: I like pancakes
f: there is no f.
g: why?
h: because I haven't thought this poll through to that many choices.
i: oh

RAT OUT THE DJ!
Think ___ is a mime? Tell us why 
 
 

I think my feelings towards mimes also stem from confused emotions towards clowns. The two groups seem so closely related, like two twin brothers from the backwoods that are missing teeth and wearing overalls. Clowns have been terrifying me all my life as long as I can remember, yet I am drawn to them in much the same way as I am to mimes. Perhaps in some subconscious way, by satiating my attraction to mimes, clowns, and the like, I am preparing myself for times later in life when I will have to meet fear head on. Ugly, smelly fear that reeks of whiskey.

Taking all things into account, you can't really help but feel a teensy bit sorry for mimes. They live such an unstable life, constantly trying to walk on tightropes and not fall, deciding whether to wear the red or black suspenders today, etc. Not to mention all the crap they have to take from people on a daily basis. I mean seeing a mime and not wanting to take part in his festivities is one thing if you just avoid him... but if you flip him off and shout obscenities, well that's a whole different thing. That's blatant provocation. I'm guessing that the mental/emotional health of most mimes isn't top notch, so please, for the safety of the mime and your own safety, don't taunt them. Just walk away man, just walk away.
 
 

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X-tra special thanks to Sarah B for letting me steal her page!