History
The 1952 Oswald Honkers debut EP, I Am Not Honking For Jesus, was the first release on Humbucket Records, and then the record label folded. The trio was as polished as a rusted saw blade, & just as melodic. They had come a long way, but had not achieved the success as other Shortliverville bands like The James Earl Rays or Ben Franklin & The Declarations had. That said, The 1952 Oswald Honkers have remained a vital part of the music scene in Shortliverville, playing gigs as long as 20 minutes with no audience. They could have played a major role in defining the sound that became known as rock and roll, if they had been good. But they weren't. As guitarist Oswald Honicker said, "We just got drunk & played to keep us from dating. We hated chicks. We're not homos or nuthin', we just have some serious intimacy problems." 

The 1952 Oswald Honkers formed in Illinois by siamese twin brothers Oswald & Lee "Oswald" Honicker. At the age of 7, the young toddler's mother was institutionalized after authorities found the the boys had been raised in a cardboard box. Their father Norton Honicker, a stern man with a belt of brazen leather, knew nothing about raising a child, let alone a 2 headed one. The boys spent many a day in front of the television. This was where they developed their musical styles. With a strong desire to write advertising jingles, they dropped out of Hazel Smith Junior High School & ran away from home. 

They wandered around pan-handling for money & grifting passers by with the puppet-master gimmick. They finally ended up in Alabama, drunk, poor, and without any underpants. There, they became friends with a local fellow named Krumpy Pumplestiltskin, who told them he was in the music industry & taught them how to holler & whistle. In fact, he was nothing but a clerk at Clownies Meat Sandwich Shop. As time went by, Krumpy learned to love their music & vowed to be their manager. He introduced them to a drummer, Oswald Gordon Liddy. Oswald was a loner with a long list of mental disorders who banged on a pan compulsively. Without ever knowing he was in the band, the 1952 Oswald Honkers were born. The year was 1972. 

Loud, shambly, & drugged, The Honkers played gigs in the bathroom stalls of local fast food chains in between being bailed out of jail for loitering in the stalls. This was where they cut their first single, "Camptown Racers". Everyone hated it. They recorded another, and another. Sometimes they borrowed instruments. More often they had none. They watched the Grammy Awards from jail. Would they ever be famous? 

At the height of the disco fad, the Honkers had yet to have a hit. In September of 1978, Krumpy approached the band with a proposition; register for the Annual Holiday Songwriters Foundation. The Foundation set out to commission future Holiday jingles to saturate dying markets. If Krumpy was right, The Honkers (who became musicians to write jingles) could very well become  corporate America's newest gems. Acting on a gut feeling, they chose a holiday that had yet to be explored; Arbor Day. The short melodical verse "A-Day, Not V-Day" didn't even place at the Foundation. They sold the rights to A local farmstand which, coincidentally, filed for bankruptcy the following year. Once again, The Honkers were flat out & in need of a shave.

In 1981, during the height of the punk movement, The Honkers recorded their first successful single, a cover of John Fogerty's "Bad Moon Rising". They had a hit. Riding on a chance, The brothers Honicker decided to take their profits & undergo a major operation to seperate the twins. After a 12 hour surgery, the operation was complete. It wasn't until later when they discovered that during the seperation, a major mistake had occurred; the doctors had forgotten to split the twins stomach. Oswald had felt hungry many times, but it wasn't until he lost nearly all his body fat that he decided to be re-examined. The truth came out. They were millionaires! After all the lawsuits, Oswald had an artificial stomach pump inserted into his rectum. Three weeks of liquid diets followed. Would the 1952 Oswald Honkers reform? 

The years following the twin's seperation were the hardest. They felt empty, broken, incomplete. Krumpy felt that the only way to save that band would be to hire a female singer named Jacky Pee, a japanese film star from Baton Rouge - to cover up the imperfections in their abilities. The brothers were initially opposed to the idea. But after the first session, Oswald (the pump) fell in love with Jacky & tried to fill the space by doing the unthinkable - dating a woman. 

And it was. After several side projects, the Honkers sat down to record their first LP, I Got The Stomach - He Got The Pump - The Drummer Got Older. It was horrible! Krumpy Pumpelstiltskin resigned from management. The record label dropped them. Jacky Pee felt used & moved back to Asia. No one cared. Months of agony followed. The brothers felt no happier seperated than they did cojoined. They went from hospital to hospital trying to find a surgeon to reattach them together, but there were no doctors willing to attempt it. They gave up. Realizing that life is about taking chances, making decisions, & living with the consequences, the Honiker brothers accepted their decisions. They still had each other, and the stalls were vacant sometimes at the fast food joints. They bought a special suit made entirely out of Velcro & now they are together again.