I also loan out my 1956 2 dr for demo derby use free.  
Lardlump 
  

Gee I wonder if anyone will respond, hehe  
Good Luck with the racing thing.  
ROlf  
  

Wait a minute.........I cracked a head, so I replaced the whole motor...  
uh ha......  

kne, also ROFL.  

Welcome Oswald!  
I'M GLAD TO SEE SOMEONE ELSE APPRECIATES THE DEMO POTENTIAL OF THESE  
CARS!  
I bought a 65 crown coupe several years ago that had 63k on it.It was an estate sale car.Color: Beige (sierra sand) with a chestnut brown vinyl top.I proceded to ready the car for the Midwest Demo derby! I mean I only paid 600.00 dollars for it.Well the car was disqualified after several big events.Eventhough I tried to disguise it,they still knew it was an Imperial.Its still in the barn now,maybe I can straighten it out. I thought about sticking a chevy front end on it and cutting off the rear straight.Maybe I could still place!  
PopNZits  

Okay, sick humor, I can deal with this...    
...speaking of which, does "Popinzits" have Photoshop?  
Maybe some of these perverse urges that keep showing up in print could be satisfied by pictures...  
Mike Sealey  
                

RE: Hot-rodding an Imperial  
Thanks for your reply.It doesn't bother me what you call a car.One man's art is another man's pornography,so to speak. I do like the 67.However it is kinda a square with headlights.Maybe thats why I like it. Happy motoring.  
  

A "square box with headlights"  is a very bad way to describe an Imperial, which was one of the most expensive American-made cars of its time.  If you didn't respect the beautiful design of this fine motorcar, than you shouldn't have bought an Imperial. Don't wreck a rare original, save it.  I don't think that aerodynamics are what gives a car style, It all has to do with sculptured lines, massive size, and a presence of character that nothing else on the road has.  Look at it this way, I could call a new car a "door wedge" just as easily as you could call an old car a "box with headlights".  
Jon  
  

Hey, I own a rather nice "square box with headlights" (67 CC), and I can't seem to find the sculptured lines, but the massive trunk, which is larger than most new cars, is usally the first thing people notice. No money spent for a new design concept for '67, just a knockoff of an earlier lincoln, don't get me wrong I like my Imp, but it is a "square box..." .  
Ron  
  

Dear friends of the IML,  
I cannot be the only one here who's noticed a flurry of inflammatory postings from alleged newcomers who've shown up with no introduction, who all happen to have the same semi-literate writing/typing style, all happen to have e-mail addresses intended to be kind of offensive, and all of whom seem to find pleasure wasting everyone's time with made-up hot-rodding, demo-derby and customization stories? Wow, what fun we must be having...  
Do we hafta keep listening to this individual having this conversation with himself?  
We're onto ya, zits/lawr/honk/Al. Now it's time to go away.  
Yes. I agree, I do not like the Demo derby remarks at all, that is one reason I can hardly find parts for my two Imperials  
  

I agree, Jon.  Calling an Imperial a square box with lights is like calling the Grand Canyon "just another hole in the ground."  Just wait.  Right now the look is a wedge-y kind of egg, or teardrop, shape.  Live long enough and "square" will come back, I guarantee it. After I, I belong to the generation that gave us shag rugs and bell-bottoms, and both have come back!  (At least at Jon's house.)  :)  
Mark  
  

popinzits,  
in the canadian race, we are not allowed to modify the exteriors of our vehicles on that grand of a scale; replacing hood ornaments & bumpers are one thing, but an entire portion of a vehicle is almost considered "cheating" let alone sacrilege! we are entertaining an audience which is predominantly classic car lovers who like to watch as their favorite cars compete for the trophy. However, i was thinking about removing the bumpers off my imperial & replacing them with modified school bus bumpers, but my buddies talked me out of it.  

Okay.  This is going to tick me off.  I can deal with the sub-group quarrel, but when you start knocking the '67s/'68s . . . WHAT is wrong with "a square box?"  
Not to get too esoteric, but the ancient Greeks and Romans thought the rectangle was the most perfect of all forms, and used it in all their architecture.  We are still using their concepts today in almost all of our buildings.  
There is nothing wrong with a "square," or rectilinear, look.  What other shape says "luxury car" better???  Yes, to each his own, but for purity of line, clarity, simplicity, and timelessness, I don't think the '67s/'68s can be beat by too many cars.  This design, because it is so uncluttered, and has so little superfluous ornamentation added to it, still remains fresh looking even today - in my opinion.  
To say it is a knock-off of a Lincoln is just wrong.  Both cars were designed by the same designer, and so both share certain common elements, but Elwood Engel did not need to steal from his past designs in order to come up with a look for Imperial in 1967.  I would call it an "evolution" of themes and ideas Elwood had that appeared in all his designs.  
One of these was the unbroken line.  If you look at a '67 or '68, the fenders form one clean, unbroken line from front to rear.  If you look at today's cars, you will be hard-pressed to find an unbroken line.  
True, a Kleenex box has one unbroken line from front to back - but a Kleenex box is another classic design.  (No, I'm not kidding!)  
The straight edges say "formality, reserve, money, classicism, solidity, strength, maturity," and "timelessness."  That's why the look worked for Lincoln; that's why it works for Imperial.  
(In the same way, the lines of a '68 Corvette say "sex appeal, power, speed, and handling" - another great design, but with a different message to communicate.)  
Sorry to sound so high falutin', but I think you ought to realize it takes a LOT of thought and effort to come up with a simple design that works.  
A guy at a gas station said it best about my '68.  I came out to find him staring at my car, and after we talked for awhile, he said: "It's kind of reminiscent of the Cadillacs and the Lincolns from that period, but it's just so much more . . . (he searched for the word) . . . elegant."  
Okay, so I'll shut up.  
Mark  

LOL & rolling on the floor - ok I give who are you in reality & if you need another engine I have a 4 cylinder ford that you can have -  

thanks, i need all the support i can get this year - last year i missed out on the enrollment date by 1 day.  
  

There's a 1929 Imperial for sale at:  
http://www.classiccarplace.com/  
Wonder how it would do in a demo derby?  Or maybe we could chop off the front and put on a Camaro nose.  Bet that would be bitchin'!  
Mark  

Sounded rather fishey to me too.  
Man, I hope this is a joke   :(  
Dave  

I don't think it is.  (.) (.)  
I think my freind might be the fake Imperial owners that showed up all of a sudden - I could be wrong - If jon can find the orginal message that he responded to about the hot rod an imperial I'd apprecate it - ok - be quiet though I want to nail him ok ,.... So if Jon wants to have fun - go for it - but  don't take it very seriously - ok - there was another post from not quite a weekago - the guy had a yellow car w/ a black interior - so keep an eye out - ok - thanks !! Gale  

Gale - you're too funny!  Maybe a couple of those Geo three cylinder engines would help the guy out!!!  

I agree, what a waste of time, energy and cyberspace.  
M  

dear friends,  
i assure you that i am not joking about altering and racing my Imperial. I didn't join this club to "brag" about how i do it, or "mock" anyone who is a member. I joined this club because i love my Imperial and i thought that "loving your Imperial" was the thing that everyone in this club had in common. I joined this club to learn new pointers on how i can prolong the life of my gem, to seek others who share similar interests to myself. I am not here to flood your mailboxes with junk, nor harass any of you. If i have misunderstood what you are telling me, i sincerely apologise. I just thought i could share my enthusiasm with fellow internet friends.  
  

How can you say that?  
  

We're getting too many 'one-liner' posts that are rather meaningless in nature (I'm not saying the above response is meaningless, it is just the most recent). In fact, we're getting too many meaningless posts in general. The people involved know who I am talking about, and I am at the point where I will drop members without further warning who continue this activity.  
  

As a NON ENGLISH LANGUAGE NATIVE I would like to be informed in the  - precise  - headline if somebody writes NONSENSE ; perhaps with two "slash" (//) at the beginning. I'm a bit confused about this "Honkey - donkey - pizzi - cato -demo - derby -  email  - squash.  
Dietmar 60 FDS  

are you talking to me? Merlaigh (PJB)  
---Jewlawr@aol.com wrote:  
Who's Al?  
Are you saying I'm not a good person who goes out of his way to help people?  
Maybe because I'm a ............. ? You got it!   Jewlawr?  
I guess we all know how you think.  Have a great day!  

Sammers,  
LOOK AT THIS NONSENSE!!!  
i'm gitten a little taste of MUCH email. came to class with 66 unread.  
i wish they where all from you damit!  

From: Tony Lindsey, <Imperial-Leader@imperialclub.com>  
I'm sure everybody has noticed immature, hostile messages being posted here lately under many e-mail addresses (usually with asinine e-mail addresses like Popinzits, Jewlawr, Riskntrade, and so on - They are all the same person.  
Here is his original message when joining:

               Anonymous X 
               Northern Va  

1965 Imperial Convertible(mauve poly w/plum leather interior)  
1964 Imperial Convertible (white w/white leather interior 48,000 miles  

Self-Introduction: Hello My name is Conrad Burnett.I love me cars and drive the 65 all the time.I am restoring the 64 convertible. I am studying futures trading/series three and trade currencies.Thats it. I always keep my eyes peeled for the elusive Imperial. 

Sounds very nice, like a pleasant Imperial owner. Unfortunately, he's currently on the warpath, and looking to cause trouble and aggravation. He hasn't responded to courteous messages and allowed the situation to be defused.  

For instance, he posted a message claiming to own a '67 Imperial with the intention of hot-rodding it, just to aggravate Chris Hoffman, who dared to defy him in the last attempt to aggravate everybody. The recent "Jewlawyer" and "Demolition Derby" messages only make the situation more painfully obvious.  

This is a vindictive, childish person who should be ignored by all members. Don't feed his ego by responding in kind.  

Ignore the big baby, and we'll probably shift our membership requirements to deal with the situation.  
  

TAKE ME OFF THE LIST!!!  
I was willing to look at this blathering as a slightly sick joke until this particular post.  
Are you the same... ...well... ..."Feceshead" who earlier posted how you had a '56 Southampton that you were willing to let go to a D-derby "for free"?  
If so, you clearly do not know the difference between love and rape, and I pity any human unfortunate enough to be in a relationship with you.  
My advice to Popinzits is the same as my advice to you, assuming you are not one and the same.  Get the Photoshop software and mutilate cybercars to your heart's (if any) content, and leave the real Imperials to those who truly love and respect them.  
Mike  
With My Apologies To The Rest Of IML  
(I'd just taken all I was gonna)....  
 

Dear Friends,  
I love my Imperial so much that:  
When the head cracks I replace the whole engine with an inferior one that requires serious fabrication to install instead of replacing the cylinder head.  
I loan it out for free to run in demo-derbies to prolong the life of it.  
(my "Gem")  
I dream of putting Brand-X front ends on my Imperial.  
ROFL.  
KNE.  
P.S. Car 54 where are you???  

wow! i can't believe it!!!  
then again, these things fly just like airplanes anyway. which makes me wonder if the engines could take a gas/jet fuel mixture to get these things to go any faster? any suggestions??
-Oswald Honker- 

New members Ken & Mindy Guardado wrote:  
The body is very straight even though it has been hit by a cessna airplane.  

Does anyone know of a good hot dog vendor in the northeastern United States? The last guy we got was acting really weird to the kids at our meeting.  
thanks 
-Oswald Honker-

You know, you just really need to stop.  It may be that you think this sort of message is funny, but I can promise you that to lots of folks on here, many of whom are young and just getting into their first car club, this sort of message is not in the least bit humorous, and it doesn't give *you* a very good image in front of a large group of people.  Moreover, it's not at all appropriate for this forum.  

I would ask that you try and contain your messages to Imperial-related matters, or please leave the group.  

Thanks!  
Elijah for the IML  

Subject: we need a subdivision!  
i was wondering if i could start a subgroup titled Hot Rod Imperial Owners. Seeing as how the "purists" seem to be mostly upset at us racers, and it seems that there are several of us out there who are being ridiculed & prejudiced because we like to hot rod our cars, it only makes sense to keep the peace among ALL Imperial owners!  
I WANT EVERYONE TO BE HAPPY!  

Please lemme know what i need to do to make this happen.  
your pal,  
-Oswald "the only redneck in canadian racing" Honker-  

RE: You kicking me out of your club  
You can kick me outta your club, but you can't make me stop buying and racing Imperials! I got money in my pocket & a trophy in the bag, busters!  
Just you wait and see, I'll be back!!!!  
-Oswald Honker-