Click HERE For Details!

Wouldn't the sentence 'I want to put a hyphen between the words Fish and And and And and Chips in my Fish-And-Chips sign' have been clearer if quotation marks had been placed before Fish, and between Fish and and, and and and And, and And and and, and and and And, and And and and, and and and Chips, as well as after Chips?
Fezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sidewinder_71@hotmail.com
Why would anyone force hyphens on fish? They mind their own business just swimming in the ocean -And - I don’t see why we should make them hyphenated. Unless of course you’re talking about Fish from the Funnybone! But then he is also minding his own business - And - not bothering anyone - And - plus the fact, it sounds like OzzyPedro has your fish - And - chips anyway. Well, at least the fish part of it. 
- Simian - 
 

Satellite of Love,
The future was not distant.
What of Tom servo?
Roblem x@mutantnation.com
Orbiting blue dogs 
Eating cold ham with a spoon 
David Hasselhoff! 
- Simian Haiku Master - 
 

Hi there I am sitting in class learning(sleeping) at the computer... so my question for this week is I bought a coke that had some sort of game it said to look under the cap and win when I did it said sorry try again so the next time I took off the cap it still said try again.... so how do I win the game???
FLAGG OoFLAGGo0@aol.com
If you really want to win, send $50 and a self addressed stamped envelope to:
Jason X
C/O www.wackyadvice.com
918275849293473219874237236 Zybor Level
Dimension 42
Xramulatz
- Jason -
 

Ok I thought of another question.... wait what was it again?
FLAGG OoFLAGGo0@aol.com
You want to know where you can send the huge check (payable to Simian, Elvis and Jason) for the amount of 80 gazillion dollars, in exchange for us NOT duct taping frozen waffles to the hood of your car. 
- Simian - 
Sorry, try again.
- Elvis Shortliver -
 

What grade did I get on my last test?
FLAGG OoFLAGGo0@aol.com
What kind of test was it? I ask only because I once failed my own blood test. 
- Simian - 
 

Does salt intake really affect blood pressure?
Protozoa
It makes me fall over and go to sleep when I have it with lemons and tequila.
- OzzyPedro -
1) If you completely eliminate salt from your diet, you will die prematurely, and 2) Death affects blood pressure. Therefore, Tae-Bo IS a fun new way to lose weight.  Order your video today! QED
- Fezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz -
Intravaenously yes, it shrivels the red cells and swells the white so probably 
anyway.
- Bunjita -
 

(Corrected version with typo removed) Is it true that roly poly fish heads are never seen drinking cappuccino in Italian restaurants with Oriental women? Can they play baseball? Are they good dancers? Do they wear sweaters? Can they play drums?
OzzyPedro
A big fat NO to all the above, OzzyPedro. However, did you know that if you sneak a fish head out to see a movie, it won’t cost you anything to get it in. But you may be asked to leave, due to the overpowering stench of dead seafood. 
- Simian - 
 

Sorry I haven't written a pscotic question recently, but I recently gained enlightment looking at John Lennon's bones, and wandered the world for a few months on mary jane and acid, motivated by fear and rum. So, What is your favorite colour? Mine's Multi.
Carnut Crnut15@usa.net
I like Plaid - And - Argyle, myself. So now that you’ve traveled around the world CarNut,  what did you bring back for us? - And - it better not be some crappy Tee shirts! 
- Simian - 
 

What would YOU do for a Klondike Bar?
Peek-a-boo ManChild mkearney1@msn.com
Here's what I'd do. . . <attach klondike118s.wav>
- Jason -
 

Hey, how come I didn't win the action, I offered my Barbie collection and she just had another birthday and that makes her worth more.  Ah shucks, I'm just sore I done have anyone here to do the windows...:>)
Blonde blonde@wwwjustin.com
How much do you want for your Barbie doll, Blonde? Does she still have her original hair or did you give her a haircut, because it could drastically reduce the worth of her. Also, did you melt her nose of with a lit cigarette, or cut off one of her limbs & nickname her "Maimee" or "Gimble Baby"? Does she have pushpin holes in her boobs, or are they still intact too? And how many times did she drown in the washing machine? Playing with Barbies can definately relieve stress...
- Elvis Shortliver -
 

Why am I so attracted to you Jason?
Bailey bubbl2000@webtv.net
Probably because the super high doses of radiation I absorbed on arrival to Earth cause me to produce strong magnetic forces that extend for up to 500 feet around me.  If you remove any metal items you may be wearing, such as jewelry, electronics, and metal laden clothing, I'm sure the attraction will stop.  You should have seen what happened the last time I went in for a CAT scan. . . I think they're still picking pieces of that machine out of the walls.
- Jason -
 

Can you help me?
because....
Only if you help me first.
- FLAGG -
No, but I look pretty funny when I stick pretzels up my nose.
- OzzyPedro -
If this is my own question then the answer is NO! But if it is not then sure..".I'm sorry you have reached the get a life hot line and all operators are busy having lives worth living."
- Blonde -
Yes, I can.  You need to know the four basic truths:
1) Yes, STOP signs indicate that you should halt your vehicle, but not permanently!
2) Salt intake affects blood pressure.
3) If you went to a really posh school, the gym would be called a 'James'.
4) At a bar, it may be easier to buy your beer and pour it straight into the toilet, thereby eliminating the middleman.
5) There are only four basic truths.
- Fezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz -
Hmmmm.I have noticed that u must be dylexsic because what u have written is actually an anagram of besauce and as all zoologists know bees stopped making sauce 1 million years ago as they werent making money so nowadays they make honey and most are millionaires......
- SubZero -
No, If i could I would have already because I'm tired of you slobbering on my car's windshield.
- Boo -
 

Help me, I think Inspector Gadget (the old cartoon one) lives in my shoe.... I see him at night when he exits the shoe to get a shot of whiskey. He often leaves the shot glass in my shoe so the next morning I step into the shoe and the glass breaks and cuts my foot. It hurts a lot. One time I saw him (obviously intoxicated) trying to make it (no not what you think, he was trying to make a root beer float) with a Barbie! HELP ME PLEASE!
Bailey bubbl2000@webtv.net
Hmm, do you want to kill him, or keep him as a pet, or use him for food? Or perhaps you just don't want your Barbie associating with him, coz of his drinking problem? Barbie is a sucker for liquor. You should tell her that she is grounded & lay down some excruciating disciplinary actions (see blonde answer above) if she continues to flooze around with him. Or did you want to use him for food?
- Elvis Shortliver -
 

Zerblat, e conmdrat, ecosola? dyablat, urofat, borkin gutom, mecosa lamentablews. Aye lon poophas la mundo e corkas en oop de boonghole. POOOOOOOP
fizzzzzzzzzzzzzzPOP   from Nitenon bubbl2000@webtv.net
Oh yeah, well, same to you buddy!  And my mother does not fly a 2674 Frompan Wombat with a supercollider propulsion unit!
- Jason -
 

Doughboy Oh Doughboy.
How might we all worship you?
Spawn of  Pillsbury.
Roblem x@mutantnation.com
OK OK I get it. There are worse things I suppose. MIDI, That Dancing Baby, The Hampster Dance, Heck, even animated gifs are icky. Must the internet be so vast & diluted? Ugh... can't.. resist...
I taunt you alot.
Scapegoat you for my anger.
Sorry, Internet Judas. 
- Elvis Shortliver -
 

Is Elvis Shortliver missing again?
Blonde blonde@wwwjustin.com
No, but my pet buffalo "Tiny" is having a shedding problem again, and since Elvis is about 90% hair, it's sometimes tough to distinguish him from all the buffalo hair on my furniture. .
- Jason -
 

It's great to be in Las Vegas, especially when you are home in Cambridge. My favourite colour? MULTI. Want a sugar cube? What about a flower? Flower is love!
Syd Barrett Syd@acidtrip.com
Syd!!!  It's great to finally get to talk to you!  Hey, I've got your album "The Madcap Laughs".  So why DID you end up going totally insane, and bailing on such a potentially popular group like Pink Floyd anyway?  Are straight jackets really as cozy and comfortable as they say?  What do you think is better:  Prozac or Valium?
- Jason -
That Bjork chick is something, huh? I mean, she is like 2 feet tall, has a silly weird accent, and yet people still love her! Kinda like Henry Kissinger.
- Elvis Shortliver -
 

If I don't pick at it, will it really heal?
Peek-a-boo-Manchild mkearney1@man.com
Hell, No - Pick it off until it carves a gigantic cavity in your freakin' face, then fill it with bacetratin & cover it up with makeup. If people notice you have makeup on, tell em you are confused & are experimenting a bit. That will definately keep them from noticing the grotesque crevace in your head. Pick it Pick it Pick it! Or perhaps you were talking about picking it for food?
- Elvis Shortliver -