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Do Subliminal Messages actually work? Or are they just hoaxes created by the media?
Billinglyston http://www.theadventurers.com/index
Hell yes! Because of Snackwurst's questionable marketing tactics, they have over 40 loyal repeat customers. Some say it's because the CEO used to work for the tobacco industry, but that only has to do with the flavor. Mmm - the moist flavor...
- Elvis Shortliver -
You know Billinglyston we here at WackyAdvice (you want to send us money) do not for one moment believe the media (tens and twenties preferable) has control over the lives of (and pancakes, give us pancakes) the ordinary citizen. So I would have to say (drink a lot of beer) that any 'subliminal messages' you read about (beer is good food) are actually hoaxes (we like beer very much) perpetuated by (send us beer) large corporations (and pancakes) that simply want to see (give us your money) what type of advertising catches (you NEED to give us money) the attention of the (and beer, you NEED to give us beer) general public.
- Simian -
Of course not Billinglywhatever <send us $50>.  It's really unfortunate that so many people <give us money> believe in the power of subliminal suggestion <you are really a giant rooster Billingklysteroperhoffen>.  I can assure all of you <those who send us 100 bucks each> that subliminal messages are merely hoaxes.
- Jason -
 

Is the placement of someone's question on this page an indication of their popularity on this site? As a supplement to my last question please explain to me the process you use to determine the placement of each question?
FLAGG OoFLAGGo0@aol.com
First, we usually put your question on the rejected page, then we answer all the rest (well, except for Shmiley's too) and randomly stick them on the page in a drunken stupor the night before we post them up and pass out.
- Elvis Shortliver -
 

So is Jason for or against a recount of the presidential election results?
FLAGG OoFLAGGo0@aol.com
It doesn't matter to me really.  We've already confirmed I won, we're just waiting for them to realize their mistake when they sent Bush to the Whitehouse, and call us to confirm the true election results.  Then it's party city for Elvis, Simian, and Myself.  Once we do get into office, we probably will enslave most of the Floridians for a month or so for putting us through all of this.
- Jason -
 

What does IMHO mean? I mean, come on, I'm a ho too but I don't go around announcing it to everyone...
Whinny Hopalong
Well, IMHO actually means "Is My Helmet On" and it is designed to remind motorcyclists (no - not Hell's Angels) to - that's right - put their helmets on for safety. But thanks for sharing your willingness to "share the wealth" with the public here on our heavily trafficked web site. Maybe you should head on over to Dr. Koop's web site & check out their articles on STDs. This is an advice page, right?? I'm merely doing my job.
- Elvis Shortliver -
I think it stands for Idiosyncratic Manipulation of Human Organs.  Basically, it's a little hobby of mine.  So far, I've built a coffee grinder out of a gall bladder, and I've made a wine chiller out of a spleen.  My next project is to use a pancreas as a reverse osmosis water filtration device.
- Jason -
 

Why is Mr. Lardlumps such a meany? 8(
Wojit
You'd be a meany too if you were as much of a jerk as Mr. Lardlumps. But I'd imagine that few people are.
- Simian -
 

Did you know that the next Friday the 13th movie is tentatively titled "Jason X"?  Don't believe me?  Check out http://us.imdb.com/Title?0211443 I wonder, is this a sign?
Wild Bill
It could very well be a sign that I'm going to go nuts and hack people into bits with a steak knife.
- Jason -
 

PS- I'm glad Simian is back ... I didn't like Mr. Blowchunks too much...
Pablo
Thanks! *Hic* I'm show glash to be back here *hic* again. I got my own schoked bar - itsh a Chrishmish gift. And yup, ish got booze in it. Can you imagine? Schnackwush gave it to me after I *hic* took care of Larshumps. Show *hic*, what wash I shaying again? Oh yeah - booze is *hic* good food. Yeah.
- Simian -
 
 

My brain cell moved out as soon as my final exams were over. Is it likely to come back? Do I really need it anyway? Would a prospective employer notice that I don't have one? Is Santa Clause real? Should I put a bone through my nose? Is Bill Wyman dead yet? Am I allowed to ask this many questions at once? OzzyPedro www.give-me-money.com After reading this question I realized that I have no clue what you're talking about, OzzyPedro. However, I am quite scared. Look kids! This is what multi-infarct dementia looks like! - Simian - Nothing's worse than a constipated Australian. - Elvis Shortliver -

OzzyPedro Predicts "."

Why the hell do these things always happen to me?
Whinny Hopalong
Here's something to look forward to: After the apocalypse, there will be plenty of parking. Now don't you feel better?
- Simian -
You're forgetting the basic rules of life. Take me, for example: I'd rather live in Kansas than in Arkansas because at least I'd be sure that I'm not related to the girls I'm kissing, but I'd still have to check to make sure they are REALLY girls. And you can quote me on that.
- Elvis Shortliver -
 

Here is a math quiz--- If a woodchuck could chuck at a velocity of 90.87 chucks a minute, and had a margin of error of .23%, and had a qota of 2160.003 chucks due in 24 hours, would this chucker be able to make that quota? If so, and he was paid $10.00 per chuck (assuming of course that there were no veriables) how much money would he make? If not, would he be aloud to work overtime (If, naturally, there was a 45% decreece in pay), if so how long and what would be the pay? Would he have to give it all to the government? Do We actually give a s***?
Bobo Da clown
Methinks Bobo should have spent a little more time in English 101 and less time in Algebra 104.
- Jason -
 

OK, so when I submit some questions and they don't end up on the main page or the rejected page, where did they go?
Guido http://www.looneyland.net
Ever read Dante? Well, not a lot of people have, since there aren't too many pictures. But trust me: those questions are paying for their crimes.
- Simian -
 

Can cats fly? Can pigs fly?
Shmiley www.newgrounds.com
Pigs can fly, but cats cannot. It's in the Cat Handbook they give you when you get a new kitty. It says specifically that if you do not like your cat to throw it out of the highest window to get rid of it. Do you think it says that in the PIG HANDBOOK? Well, you can't prove it!!
- Elvis Shortliver -
Apparently Pigs can fly.  Just ask the stupid cow who convinced the airline to allow her to bring her "therapeutic" sow on board first class.  And some day, this species will wonder why my planet wants to demolish earth to make way for a giant floating amusement park. . .
- Jason -
 

Wow I made it one whole week without a rejected question ... does that make me special?
FLAGG OoFLAGGo0@aol.com
Yes Flagg, you are indeed special. Why, if you were any more special, you'd be riding the short bus with the window lickers.
- Simian -
 

What is the square root of pie with whipped cream?
Shmiley www.expage.com/magicmoney
And yet again Shmiley sets himself up to be the brunt of another god-awful joke. The funny thing is, he actually seemed surprised as the cream pie hit him in the face this time. I don't think he saw it coming because he just kept laughing and jumping up & down...
- Elvis Shortliver -
 
 

Hello. I am Simian (LIE!)
Simian
For some strange reason, I really don't believe that this visitor happens to be me. I mean, this comment actually makes me sound like I'm sober. And how often does that happen?
- Simian -
Hey Simian! What's up? We missed you last month! Did you have a nice Christmas? Are you ready to come back to work... HEY! YOU'RE NOT SIMIAN!! (pointing) SHE is Simian! I've been duped again!!
- Elvis Shortliver -