 In
our last episode, Elvis Shortliver arrives home & attempts to rebuild
his badly shattered life after being falsely accused of the wrongful death
of a friend. Having spent several months hiding in such far off places
as Checkloslivakia, Tonga, and Mr. Lardlumps' rose bushes, he was informed
that the charges had been suspiciously dropped and he swam back to America.
Upon returning home, he tries to pick up where he left off as head of the
1952 Oswald Honkers' fan club, but soon realized that nobody likes an accused
criminal, especially when they have gray afros. He decides to go back to
school and gets his BS (Bachelor of Science) in BS (Bull of Sh!t) and learns
how to make a shoe horn out of a shingle.
 Simian
T. Marmoset, on the other hand, enjoys the attention of increasing interest
in her alleged (and possibly illegal) Church of Poppin' Fresh, The Pillsbury
Doughboy. So much attention, in fact, when Pillsbury noticed an increase
in the amount of visitors inquiring about the health of the Doughboy, they
filed several lawsuits against, Simian, The Church, and even themselves
for creating such a cute, yet totally wussy, character. Simian returns
to Brazil, not only to avoid Pillsbury's gang of attourneys but to avoid
getting hauled off onto the next Space Shuttle and shot into space. After
successfully losing a horde of angry circus midgets out to get her, Simian
reaches her destination and sets up a moonshine operation in the hills
of Brazil next to Juan Valdez. After spending several months in the damp,
humid, and wicked sticky rainforest, she realizes it is her own tail she
has been chasing around in circles. She decides to pack up the trailer
& move back to America, where she can vacation with her true love,
Poppin' Fresh and receive love letters from William Shatner and Pablo.
 Jason
X, also known as Sticky, was not sure what to do with himself and hid in
his closet for several weeks waiting for nuclear winter to be over. After
changing into his natural state (that being a thick puddle of green goo
with the consistency of Jell-O) he is mistaken for the Y2K bug and sent
to a secret FBI testing station in New Jersey. This does not suit Jason
as he is subjected to a battery of physiological tests all involving the
watching of Celene Dion videos. Jason escapes after he disables the annular
confinement beam by building a continuum distortion propulsion unit with
deuterium ferroplasmic infusion and gravimetric deutronics. What does this
mean? Damned if any of us know, but somehow Jason liberated himself and
now roams free among the general populous. After buying some really cute
frilly pink curtains, he has decided to redecorate his dilapidated space
ship, eat more fiber and join the Osmond family. Jason can currently be
found sticking his fingers in electrical outlets and shampooing with Schlitz
Draft.
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